Saturday, August 9, 2008

The happy ending

This weekend was our local Families Supporting Adoption regional conference. I have been involved with FSA for 5 years now, and was very involved with coordinating and planning this years conference. I love it. I love being involved with helping people with adoption.

I will never forget 5 years ago going to our first conference. At that time, we were very deeply private about our infertility struggles, and had only told very very close family members that we were having difficulty having kids. It was not something that I was ever comfortable talking about. At the same time, it was something that I had been struggling with for years, and it was becoming very difficult to overcome. I remember going to this conference, and just being surrounded by people who were going through exactly what I was going through! They felt the same things I did! They had the same struggles, and the same desires, and the same difficulties. I don't know if I can even describe how freeing it was for me to be able to finally talk about it. Now I can't seem to shut-up about it, so you can see how much it changed me! :)

As we have been helping/attending these conferences for 5 years, we have been able to see families grow. I think this year it just struck me so clearly that I am able to see miracles and happy endings happen year after year. Last year, in August, at the last conference, I spoke with length with a couple who only weeks before had experienced a failed adoption. They had spent several days with the birthmom and baby, had held the baby in their arms, and just a few hours before they thought their baby would be home, they learned that the mother had decided to parent. They were devastated. I remember crying many tears with them, as they expressed their loss and hurt, and remembering when I had gone through something similar, and remembering how much it hurt. When I saw them this year, they were beaming. Their grins lit up the room, as they told about their two beautiful boys, age 2 and 4, who were now a part of their family. They once again made me tear up, this time with joy. A great happy ending!

Last year I also spoke with another girl who had tried to adopt through foster care, had 3 failed placements, and a failed match with a birthmom. She didn't come this year, but I saw some gorgeous pictures of her holding her new little girl, obviously overjoyed to finally have her arms full. Another happy ending!

Another family who has been waiting longer than we even had been involved with adoption, was busy with their 6 month old, and a family who has a daughter the same age as Abigail, and has been trying for another ever since, was sharing their experience adopting their most recent little girl. 2 more happy endings.

I also spoke with many other couples, some waiting for a long time, some just starting out, and battle-weary from infertility, some just figuring out what it is they want to do. As I spoke with them, and shared emotions, experience, and listened to their stories, I couldn't help but think that in years to come I will be seeing their happy endings. It is hard to have hope, and it is hard to realize, after so much loss, that their happiness will come, but as an outsider, it is like watching little miracles all around. I can't wait for next year, to see their joy, to share their heartache, and to help them celebrate happy endings.

8 comments:

Cecilee said...

Wow! Sounds amazing. I wish I could have attended also. What a great blessing for you to be a witness to all those wonderful little miracles. I know your experience is surely a comfort and blessing to them as well. Sometimes there are so many additional blessings that come from our trials. Sounds like the adoption conference is one of those. Thanks for sharing!

Astarte said...

I love this story. It's beautiful, poignant, and best of all, true. How wonderful.

Kelly said...

Rinar and I have been talking about it, and decided we are very certain we are going to try to adopt next year. I know we are supposed to have at least one more, but I just can't do fertility again. It is too hard, with no guarantees.

=) said...

Great job on helping with the confrence. I was there and had the exact same feelings but didn't know how to articulate it!! This was my 3rd confrence and this year me and dh are the smiling, happy couple as we've been matched with a wonderful birth mom who is due Oct 1st. But I was keenly aware of those I met who are just starting out and their struggles with pain, fear and uncertainty...but I know, like you said, that will eventually change and they'll be greatful for what they've learned in this time- and it's just so AWESOME to witness families being made and grown through adoption.

ali said...

I wish you could come talk to the women in may ward, we are having so much heartache lately, a friend of mine hasn't been able to have kids, and she had a miscarriage after spending all of their money on IVF, and another friend had an adoption fall through, and another friend just had a stillborn baby at 32 wks pregnant. It breaks my heart so much especially since I have felt a tiny bit of that kind of pain myself :( I think it's so great that you are doing that! They are all so lucky to have you!

Shanna said...

Kelly, That is awesome you all are adopting!! Have you made any decisions yet? I would love to hear more!

Nicole, congrats on your match!! I probably knew it already, but I have a hard time keeping up with everything on the group. I'm so glad you were in the smiley happy group this year!

And Ali, that just breaks my heart!! If you want to give them my email address, I would love to help in any way I could....

Valeni said...

I'm so glad you both are involved in helping others adopt. It is a great thing to help children have a loving family to be a part of, and everyone is so blessed because of it. I would like to be involved in a class for the grandparents. I feel like I have something to share because of the joy I feel in being a grandparent, and adoption also makes this possible! Love you all....

Opp Family said...

I loved your post so much! Adoption really is such a beautiful thing and I can totally relate to those battle worn feelings and then being at a conference with so many that were just like me! It's such a beautiful thing, I'm sorry we missed the conference this year - Andrew was gone helping the scouts and I didn't want to mess with Madeleine by myself. Sounds like it was wonderful!