Monday, September 22, 2008

Saying Yes Challenge

I say 'no' all day. Sometimes it is necessary. There are things the kids want to do that are unclean, unsafe, or not allowed for various reasons. Then there are the things that are more of a personal preference. Like food, or rolling down the windows, clothing, etc. etc.

And lately it seems like Abigail and I are butting heads about absolutely everything. So much of her driving force is control. She loves to be in control of things, and hates to have choice and decisions taken away. So the past several days I have tried my very, very best to say 'yes' as often as I possibly can. Especially with food. Even if it is 5 minutes before dinner, or 2 minutes after we are done, I have tried to never, ever say 'no' when she asks for food. A few times I have limited her choices, but I usually try to just grit my teeth and let her have what she wants.

I understand there are reasons not to say yes to everything- she doesn't need to get everything she asks for, and she needs to learn to wait, and to go without, and a whole bunch of other things. But I am trying to identify those times when it is just my preference that is causing the no, because it is better for her to learn for herself the consequence of choices, rather than having those choices taken away and her being forced to do what I think is best.

So this is my challenge today: How many times can I say YES? How few times can I say NO? I challenge you, if you are reading today, try to make your YESes a lot more frequent than your No's.

5 comments:

Jen said...

This is totally a challenge I need to take with the twins. I KNOW I say no to them often when it is just my own preference or my own laziness that keeps me from saying yes. I'm taking your challenge!

Kristi said...

I try to give Mady as many choices as I can in a day. It is always little stuff, but it empowers her with a choice. The days are so much easier when I remember to give her little choices instead of force her to do what I want. "Do you want to wear the yellow shirt or the pink shirt?" The choices always have to be something that I can live with. Then, when I have to pull the parent-NO-card, she has been making all kinds of other choices all day, it seems to lesser the NO's I have to give.

Shanna said...

I have tried the choices thing a few times. I got all fired up about 'Love and Logic'. But it is not a good fit for Abigail. When I offer her two choices, she comes up with a third option, and goes ape-crazy for her option. Then when I enforce the two choices, or choose for her, it is even worse. I finally just realized it isn't a good method for her. But today has been going really well.

Rebecca said...

Great challenge!!! I love it!

Kristi said...

Oh, I so didn't mean to sound like I know what I am talking about...