Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Tag for National Adoption Month

I got tagged! It was a long time ago, but that's how thing happen sometimes. Wendy is an amazing person. I find myself constantly wishing I could be more like her. It is an honor to be tagged by her! Thanks Wendy!

Here are the rules:

1.Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share 6 nonimportant things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag 6 random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Well, since it is my blog, I can change it a little, right? I've already done lots of random things about me here, so I thought I would list non-random things. In honor of National Adoption Month, I am going to list 6 things about my adoption experiences.

  1. Our first match with a birthmom did not result in an adoption. We were very upset, and in my desire to be in control of an uncontrollable situation, I decided that the 3 months we had spent on hold had been way too long. I determined in my head that I wasn't going to agree to be on hold for any longer than 2 months. I realize now how silly that is, and I don't know what I would have done if I had been contacted by a birthmom during that time, but I think it was just part of my grieving reaction to try and put more things under my control. Anyway, one of our adoption miracles is that when Abigail's birthmom wrote us an email telling us that she had chosen us to be the parents of her little girl, one line said "I have known for a while that you were the right family, but I felt like the timing needed to be just right". She wrote us the letter on November 12, and her due date was Jan 10. I cried when I read that, knowing that it was a small but meaningful miracle that she had waited to tell us, knowing that it was important somehow. Not important to anything or anyone but me. And I am grateful for that miracle.

  2. From the time I was very young, the picture in my head of my 'future family' was always multi-racial. I always thought I would adopt children of another race. As we feel a deep satisfaction and peace with our family, that seems like less and less of a reality. I don't mourn this loss, as I am very content with my children and situation, but it is a different reality than what I had always pictured.

  3. I like it when things happen the way I picture them. After learning some basics of adoption, we sort-of had some things planned in our head. We figured we would do an agency adoption first, then a private adoption, then do an international adoption and adopt two at once. We had a successful agency adoption, we then were lucky enough to find a birthmom and do a private adoption for our second. We didn't do international, but we did adopt two at once. Mostly life does not go according to plan, so it is nice when sometime it does.

  4. Another miracle story. When we adopted Jack and Aidan, they were what is known as a "legal risk" placement. That means they are not legally free for adoption, but we take them home anyway, hoping for the best. We were worried and stressed, thinking that we might have to take them back, and knowing how badly we wanted to keep them. The whole time we were getting them, and taking care of them, I kept having the thought come to my mind "It will be hard, and there will be a lot of things happen, but in the end, they will be yours". This was the answer to my prayers. There were plenty of times I doubted this feeling, but when I could let go of my fear and hold onto my faith, I knew that it would be hard (which it was), and a lot of things would happen (they did), but in the end we would get the boys (and we did). Those thoughts and feelings were one of our many miracles.

  5. I have never, ever felt like I was raising someone else's kids. They are mine, all mine. I have never had a biological child, but it simply wouldn't be possible to feel more like someone's mother, or that they were more my child than what I feel now.

  6. Of everyone in our crazy family, the two that look the *least* alike are Jack and Aidan, who are the only two that are biologically related. Kydon and I get told often that we look like brother/sister, Abigail and I are always told we look alike, I often get that Aidan looks like Kydon and that Jack looks like Abigail. But when I tell people that Jack and Aidan are twins, the usual response is "Really??" "Wow, they look nothing alike"!

Ok, in keeping with the adoption theme, I will tag 6 friends that I know through adoption:

Holly, Jennifer, Kara, Amanda, Amanda, Kim, Mary Kate


Rebecca said...

I love to read/listen to you write/talk about adoption!! You are awesome!

TheVillamorFamily said...

I will gladly do this! I was thinking this morning I need to do more with National Adoption month! I need to be more pushy with the high schools in hopes they will let me do a presentation in the health class....why didnt' I do that when I had more timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

mommymuse said...

Shanna, I'm sitting here with kleenex! I love your testimony and example of faith--I needed that reminder. Adoption is such a blessing!